vesperus-diamondigger99-Siris

  1. diamondigger99

    diamondigger99 New Member

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    1) Diamondigger99

    2) Vesperus

    3) Siris

    4) Grigori

    5) Human

    6) 36

    7) Long Black Hair, pale skin, green eyes, unibrow, semi-built body, big eyes, scruffy facial hair, clothing is white t-shirt, and thick pants, scar across left cheek, lets hair grow out, thin nose, medium size lips, sharp jawline. He prefers to let his hair loose, and wears sandals most of the time. He loves armor, and prefers to look scruffy, as it fits his personal image.

    8) Pragmatic Good

    a. Siris loves to mine deep in caves. His thirst for diamonds keeps him digging deeper and deeper. Not only is Siris a fan of mining, but he also loves to hunt late at night. His favorite mob type to kill is zombies. He loves working on teams for any activity, and he is always willing to give resources to his allies. He is very talkive with people, and he known for being the joker of the town. His signature trait is is ability to execute large excavations tasks without complaint. He also does large buildings without complaint. He is known for his attractive building style that he adopted from his father. He is good friends with Filitarn and Kasper, and they often do things together, and often have conversations together.

    9)

    a. When Siris was a young boy, he often went down to the lake to enjoy it’s serenity. His father was a well known builder, who was famous for his beautiful buildings. Siris often loved to play chess with his father, but he could never win. Siris often used wooden sticks to use as play swords. He swung at imaginary enemies with brute force. His mother was precious to him. When he was young she would go to the fair with him, and buy him different type of rare items, such as cultures, food, and drinks. Siris's favorite hobby when he was little, was going down into the large cave outside of his town. He remembers the one day he went down to the cave, and he came running out as he saw a large spider approach him. He ran out and went back home, it was scary, but also mind-openening at the same time. Siris was first presented with his first real enemy. One day he asked his father to make him a wooden sword, his father granted his wish. Siris went back to the cave, and once again he saw the spider. He dug a hole for the spider to get trapped in beforehand. Once the spider fell in, Siris sloppily slashed the spider to death with his wooden sword. Siris ran home feeling like a hero, his childhood was bright more than anything at that time, However he was just learning the basics of the world. As time went on he learned to love the town he resided in, and had no ambitions of leaving it. Times were good until his father was taken away fifteen years later. His father had disappeared one night while Siris was sleeping. He looked all over town for him, but he could not find him. Days went by until Siris was completely convinced he was gone. He was enraged, tears of anger flew out of his eyes. His father was a good person, and he felt that he did not deserve to be taken out of his will. Every day that went on it seemed the more Siris's mother wept. The cries became louder and louder.

    b. Siris’s father had been the role model for him since he was young, and his absence left Siris with complete depression. His mother wept in the house for hours straight, when he was taken. Through the sound of his mother’s tears, Siris became enraged and vowed to find his father. He would search every town in his sight to find his father. He would even face death itself if it meant saving his father. News of Siris's departure made his mother even more depressed than she was before, however, Siris assured her that he would find his father and that he would bring him home. Her tears finally subdued and he made his plan to find his father. His plan consisted of examining town in the outer radius of his own town. He would inspect each town very carefully, looking for signs of his father, most prominently his signature architecture. Once he found him, he would sneak out of the city to bring him home. If he was not found in the particular radius, Siris would expand the search radius to further his investigation. Siris knew from the beginning that this would be a long haul.

    c. When Siris was 33 he set out to find his father, one town at a time. He inspected each town carefully looking at the construction of the buildings. He saw none that matched his father’s craftsmanship. He had been across so many different landscape, and small collection of huts within the desert, cities hugged by water, and large towns that seemed to go on for miles through the clear plains. One town he went to, he met a blacksmith, and became friends with him after fixing his anvil. The blacksmith returned the favor by training him on how to use a sword. He told him the secrets of evasion and movement. Siris practices his sword skills for months, until it was time to move to the next town.He kept migrating town to town, and finally he saw a familiar design that beckoned back to his childhood. Under the building, Siris’s father was working tirelessly to finish the work. Siris called out to his father, and without any doubt his father ran toward his son with full embrace. He told Siris that he was stolen by the town guards. He explained that a representative from the town came to the home town and asked him to come to their remote town. He rejected their offer and stated he wanted to stay with his family. One late knight guards from the town silently infiltrated Siris's house. They told the father that they would murder his family if he did not work for their town. His father in the best interest of his family agreed to be taken. Siris embraced his father with love for his willingness to put his family ahead of his personal gain. His father suddenly yelled for Siris to look out. A guard ambushed Siris with heavy force. Siris fell to the ground. Siris then remembered the sword tactics his blacksmith friend had taught him, he applied it his fight with the guard. That guard swung his sword at him once more, but in a surprise move Siris evaded it, and stabbed the guard in the back of the head. It was the first time that Siris had seen blood come out of someone else's body. The image of the guards bleeding head was stored in his mind forever, and constantly reminded him of the power of violence. He grabbed his father and escaped from the town. It was then that the cataclysm struck. Siris woke up alone on Vesperus.

    d. The moment Siris had woke up, he was sweating bullets. Siris prayed that his father was safe, as he realized he had landed in a distant land. A man by the name of Filitarn found him on the ground whilst hunting, and invited him to his town, Siris told him the story about his father, and mentioned he did not know for sure if he got home safe. Filitarn told him not to worry and said that he believes his father was safe. The fear still stayed in the back of Siris's mind. It would until he found a way to get home. For the time being he made friends in this new city. A strong alliance that was bound to last years, to come, Siris never let his alliance overshadow his old family, but he embraced his alliance as a part of his new family in his new life. Now he was ready to begin a new journey.
     
    #1
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2018
  2. FireSlayerx

    FireSlayerx Active Member

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    You can find my initial comments in this colour, inside the quoted portion of this reply (Some comments have been encased in spoilers to reduce bloating).
    The major comments are pertaining to the bio and just fleshing it out a bit, the rest is bolstering the Physical and Personality descriptions, and a little check on the age.
     
    #2
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2018
  3. FireSlayerx

    FireSlayerx Active Member

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    You can find my further comments in this font colour, inside the quoted portion of this reply. Some comments may be encased in spoiler tags to prevent bloating.
    Most of the comments are regarding the biography portion again, just some more fleshing out, and a few points to clear up.
    Also, I notice you decided not to complete Section 2 of the Format, the Quiz. That's totally fine, but it does mean that you cannot play a Vampire; Start a town; or Play a Chaotic/Evil character. If you don't plan on doing any of those, then the Quiz is not needed, and you're fine without it.

    Thank you for fixing up the things I mentioned in the last review, and I apologise profusely for the wait, I forgot to tell you to let me know once you've edited it. So, here's me telling you this time: Once you have edited the bio as per my comments, please comment here letting me know so I am aware it's been edited.
     
    #3
  4. FireSlayerx

    FireSlayerx Active Member

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    You can find my further comments in this font colour, inside the quoted portion of this reply. Some comments may be encased in spoiler tags to reduce bloating.

    Much improved here, thank you for editing. Just a couple more things to fix up, namely some minor details surrounding some of Siris' actions. Once you've done that either comment here or message me on the forums/discord. I apologise, very much, that I missed the last message, I had been busy IRL.
     
    #4

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